Dave & Busters – Review (It’s like Hitler)

18 Feb 2010
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comments (2)  |  Add Comment

I live in one of the various cities that has a Dave & Buster’s located within driving distance. (I’d estimate they have 50-75 locations in the U.S.)   For those of you who don’t know, Dave & Buster’s is a restaurant/entertainment chain.  It combines a bar, restaurant, pool hall, and arcade all into one location. (more info here)

Anyways, I visit the Dave & Busters in this town every now and then as it is one of the only arcades that I’m not afraid of being stabbed at.  So, as a frequent customer, I’ve decided to write a review!  (Oh shut up, it’ll be fun).

First, this isn’t like most reviews, where I visit once and make all my judgments that one visit.  I have been there at least 100 times.  I am a Gold Member for their games (You have to play a bit to get that status). I have over 65,000 tickets saved up (Which is enough to get me a PS3 or XBOX360 from their prize area).  All these observations are RECURING things I see, not just single instances.

Now, like all reviews, I’m going to leave out a bunch, and only focus on certain areas!  Just like a professional!

So lets skip over the stuff I won’t cover much in this review:

Food

The food is edible. I find food reviews retarded as everyone has different tastes, and I’m not going to sit their and eat every damn dish to be able to give you some sort of idea of what is or isn’t good.  You figure that out your damn self you lazy bastard.  Besides, you eat Quarter Pounders from McD’s, so you probably have no taste in quality anyways.

Liquor

They have some. How much it is, do they have good mixed drinks, how are the margaritas, etc?  Don’t know, don’t care!  I only drink alone in the dark like everyone should.  So if you care about public drinking and overpriced watered-down beverages, I guess it’s better than drinking at Applebee’s? (Really, I haven’t a clue)

Billiards/Shuffle board

Is it gay that their balls are touching? Just like the alcohol – they have it, I don’t know how much it costs, or if it tastes good, I do all my billiards/shuffle boarding at home in the dark like everyone should.  I always see people playing them, so I’m guessing they are decent?

Party Rooms / Catered events / Birthday Parties

You already know I don’t get invited anywhere, so figure it out yourself.

Now onto the parts of the review I can actually provide insight…

The Smell

That’s right, I am reviewing the smell of Dave & Busters.  Why?  BECAUSE IT SMELLS!  Not just one time, or one area.

The mens room – it smells like stale urine.  It smells STRONGLY of stale urine.  EVERYTIME I have been in there. It’s like being in Hitlers bunker when the Russians where knocking on the door (BECAUSE HE PISSED HIMSELF, GET IT?!)

The Kitchen – There is an area near the kitchen, near some of the games, that every time I walk by it, it smells like the garbage hasn’t been taken out. Rotting food possibly? Maybe uncleaned drains?  I don’t know exactly how to place it, but it isn’t pleasant. I heard someone describe it, they said it smelled like “VOMIT.”  That’s pleasant.  Thanks D&B.

The Payment System

Not actually bad.  They have kiosks, and you buy a credit card like card with ‘tokens’ on it.  Each machine has a card swipe thing built into it.  It’s rather nice and sophisticated, and I think a great idea.  When you run out of tokens, you just go to the kiosk (or their front desk) and recharge it.  The prices are a bit high, but I’m a cheap bastard.  Of course you get a better deal if you buy in bulk, but whatever.  To bad hookers don’t have a system like that, so there would be no argument over price…I know where ya could swipe the card too. Giggity.

The Games (Video Games durrrr)

This is where they excel.  They want to make sure you get the best gaming value for your dollar.  Making sure you can play for a good amount of time with what money you do spend.  How can they do that? Simple: They make sure all of their games are in such disrepair that they don’t work properly!!  Then you have to wait 10-20 minutes for one of their referee wearing employee’s to come fix the problem.

For example, one of the games I was playing on ran out of tickets.  This I can understand.  So I flipped a switch they have built into EVERY machine that is if you need assistance (either technical, or you want to order a drink).  And I wait.  I still have credits in the machine, and a few more plays to get through, but I’m not going to continue unless I get tickets.  So I flip the switch, and watch the clock.  20 minutes.  I shit you not.  So my small game that was maybe $1 of my money, got me around 30 minutes of play!! Of course the 20 minutes of waiting for a human, and then the 5 or so minutes for them to fix the problem… Fantastic!

Another great example is their Skee Ball machines!  Doesn’t dispense tickets all the time, doesn’t keep track of score properly (it’s very frustrating to sink a 50 point ball and watch the score sign stay at 000), or my favorite.  You throw ball  8 of the 9 balls you get, and GAME OVER!

Some of their games are so worn out, and have been fixed so many times it’s ridiculous.  I know they are raking in the dough, and why they can’t take better care of their machines is beyond my comprehension.  Plus they don’t get new games in there that often from what I can tell.

Tickets

When the machines dispense tickets properly it’s not bad.  You collect your tickets, take them to their “Winners Circle” (prize booth?) and you give your tickets to a guy who weighs them, and then puts the number of tickets you turned in on your card. (The one you used for credits to play the games)  Pretty nifty system, but I doubt the accuracy of the scale, yet I have seen them calibrate it.  So the tickets are decent, and they have a good way of managing them instead of having to hold onto hundreds of little pieces of paper.

Prizes

Their prizes are what you would expect, a bunch of crappy cheap prizes, some decent medium prizes, and some very hard to reach big prizes like iPod’s, PS3, XBOX360, DVD Recorder and things like that.  Some of the prizes I think are overpriced, but I know they are out to make a profit.  The only real problem I have with their prizes, is they are not all properly labeled.  The game consoles do not have a ticket price listed, so when they are busy you have to wait in line to just ask the price.

Conclusion

It’s like Hitler.  It smells horrible, a lot of things are broken and don’t work properly, you have to wait endlessly for results, it smells horrible, and you can kill a lot of Jews time.

2 Responses to “Dave & Busters – Review (It’s like Hitler)”

  1. Crabby Old Guy Says:

    And you keep going Back? What are ya, a sucker for punishment?
    It smells. The equipment is crappy and not well-maintained, the winning ticket dispenser sometimes doesn’t work, it takes 20 plus minutes for a staph memember to show up. It smells and you keep going back?
    Ya gets whats ya deserves. Find a better place or quityerbitchin

  2. Dave & Busters - They Care! (Stay Tuned) | JoelTheGreat.com Says:

    […] This was a reference to my Dave and Busters review I wrote a bit ago: “Dave & Busters – Review (It’s like Hitler)” […]