Story Time – Headphones

02 Jan 2010
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants, Story Time  |  Comments (2)  |  Add Comment

Alright boys and girls! Gather around, it’s time for story time!

Tonights story is about Bill and Betty.  Bill and Betty have a typical kid who, as any parent will tell you, just can’t shut the fuck up for 5 seconds. Especially during dinner.  So Bill and Betty have to have dinners with the constant “blah blah blah” of a little kid, and honestly, after a few weeks it will grate on anyones nerves.

But luckily for Bill and Betty they know how to conjure up a magical wizard to help with this problem.  Bill and Betty will get together and bring forth their magical wizard, “Grandma.”  Grandma, the magical wizard will then cast a very helpful spell called “Sleep Over.”

This spell causes the little brat to vanish from Bill and Betty’s care for an evening, giving them the ability to go forth and have a quiet and peaceful dinner.  This is very effective usually.

One night, Bill and Betty where sitting at a local semi-fancy dinner facility enjoying a peaceful meal without any loud noises from their brat, when all of a sudden a Dark Wizard appears in the restaurant.

The name of this Dark Wizard?  Some know him as Beep-Boop. Others as “That New Fangled thing.”  But to most, his name is Portable Handheld Electronics.  He is a crafty Dark Wizard, able to take on the form of things such as iPhone’s, PlayStation Portables, Game Boys, and the like.

And on this eve, the Dark Wizard took the form of a Nintendo DS in the hands of some other little brat at a not to distant table.  Normally this wouldn’t be much of an issue, except the little brat who had the Dark Wizard in front of him was raised by stupid, retarded ogres with the brain the size of George Lopez’s ability to make me laugh. (NONE AT ALL).

The little brat was entertaining himself with the Dark Wizard, loudly, without any headphones.

This means that Bill and Betty had to have their dinner listening to the sounds of some other brats portable video game while trying to enjoy their adult conversation.  The end.

**Please note: Bill and Betty are not real people.  But I know people this has happened too..

Now I didn’t say it would be a good story time you little shits, so don’t be griping to me of “That wasn’t a story, that was just stupid. ” Because you’re stupid.

Now my point is this. If you are willing to let your little kid get something like a portable video game system, which costs at minimum $100.  Spring the extra $5-10 for a set of headphones.  People don’t want to listen to your kid play video games while having dinner.   Even though I love playing video games, it doesn’t mean I want to hear other people playing them when I’m having dinner.

It doesn’t have to be people who finally got away from their own brat for the night. I’m pretty sure people who are not parents aren’t thrilled to hear you son play “Barbie Adventures” because he’s going to grow up being a sausage smoker.

Not just restaurants either! Any form of waiting room isn’t a good place for that either.  Especially if it’s something like the waiting room to a Medical Clinic where people may have headaches, and generally feel like shit.

Just be considerate of other people you morons.

Moral of the story: Buy your cum stain some fucking headphones or I might slash your tires while you are still eating.

2 Responses to “Story Time – Headphones”

  1. Avenging angel Says:

    The story you have just read is true, only the names have been changed to protect the gulty from justified retribution.
    The above story and attending irritation goes double for you morons who have to blah blah on your damn cell phones. Not that big a deal at a Micky D Golden Arch supper club but very damn annoying when I am in a respectable eat joint.
    There I am, at a table or in a booth, in a nice eatery, and some annal extrusion is loud talking on his (or her) cheap piece of shit cell phone at the next table or the next booth. This may come as a big surprise, but i don’t give a shit to know … (fill in any damn topic your perverted little mind can imagine)..
    To dream: I pull out my Colt .45 semi-automatic pistol with the Federal hydra-shock hollow point bullets and shoot your damn cell phone out of your hand and into your ear! To continue dreaming, I will load up my Cimmeron 1897 pump-action 12-gauge shotgun with number four buckshot alternating with rifled slug and provide a little clorox into the gene pool.
    This remedy is much neater than using four pounds of Composition Four explosive, but C4 does make a nice boom.

  2. PurpleGirl Says:

    I’m a waitress, and I see that shit allll the time. I’ve have table come in where the two kids have video games and the parents each have a book. The adults sit there and read while the kids turn the video volume up louder and louder, trying to drown out the other one. *stabbing*