Excuse Me? – A Simple Request
Time for a small anatomy lesson. Humans can see best with their eyes in which direction? That’s right, in front of them.
Why is that important?
Well we’ll get to that. First lets cover a typical event that occurs a lot around this time of the year. You are out and about, shuffling through overcrowded commerce centers that are packed to the gills with both humans and merchandise. And you go through this painful experience to buy useless crap for people you probably don’t give two-shits about. That’s right, you are out Christmas shopping.
Occasionally when you are out shopping, you will stumble upon an end cap, or shelf full of something extremely shiny that catches your eye. As you are uncertain what piece of useless consumer materialism you need to get for your friend you know from work but not really but you went to that one party and stuff.
Anyways, when you stop at this display of random items, there is a chance someone will pull up behind you with a cart. They will stop, and bore holes in the back of your skull with eyes made of daggers.
This is why it is important to remember, humans can see best with their eyes at stuff in front of them. Humans cannot see behind themselves!
So, when you pull up behind someone looking at a shelf full of Chinese manufactured crap, staring at them DOES NOTHING.
What ever happened to the nicely uttered words of “excuse me?” You don’t say it with attitude, you don’t say it quickly, or out of anger. Just simple and polite. Like if you were offering some more cake to someone at their party.
If you just stand there and stare, and get mad at the person who may be blocking your chosen path, they won’t know until you have worked yourself up into a quiet frenzy. It takes 2 simple seconds to politely say excuse me.
I know for a fact, that some of the people who may be blocking a path to look at something (myself for example), may not realize that your standing behind them. We don’t have eyes in the back of our head, we don’t realize that you don’t have an alternate route, we can’t see that we are preventing your cart from fitting through by a few inches.
If I am in someones way, and they politely say “excuse me,” 99% of the time I’ll step out of the way, and apologize politely for being in the way, and life will go on. That’s right. I said I’d apologize politely for blocking your path! Isn’t that outstanding!? You be polite, then I’ll be polite, and everyone has a nice day!
If you don’t ask me politely, ask with attitude, or just stare at me all disgruntled because you are a moron who can’t communicate simple things to other people, then I’ll probably be rude right back, and stay in your way longer just because you were being an asshole. Yes, that’s right, I would purposely block y0u because you are being an asshole. And if you asked yourself “Why would you do that?” Then you are obviously one of those assholes!
I would do it because I’m not here on this world to please your inpatient rude ass. So I will do what I can to make you wait, and make you madder. My hope is that you’ll snap and start flipping out, that way I can stab you in the face and say I thought you were going to kill everyone in the store like a disgruntled postal worker or some Military nut job with horrible aim. That way I’ll be able to get off of any assault charge as self defense, and possibly be worshiped as a hero for ridding the world of one more waste of human space.
Either that or I could follow you to your car and slash your tires. That sounds better, less clean up, easier escape from legal action and identification.
Merry Fucking Christmas!
December 21st, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Excuse me. He was not, as you so wrongly put it, “military nut job with horrible aim.” He was/is a Moslem (Islamist) terrorist. That his politically correct (what a F’ing joke) supervisors, senior offers didn’t have the stones to say “This islamo-nut job is dangerous.” And then take that statement of fact and do something about it is disgusting. Oh hell no. “We don’t wanna piss off the Islamofacists cause they will kill us (every damn chance they get).” So much better to screw with Christians or Jews cause they won’t cut your head off. Islam fanatic killing Americans in America is terrorism. I don’t care if General “Diversity” Casey wants to admit it or not -he doesn’t- it is Islamic Terrorism on American land. 13 Dead and 30 injured. Terrorism.
Now that I have moderately vented on the terrorist basis of the nut job, to get to your main point.
Humans-indeed ALL preditors- have eyes on the front of the skull to provide binocular vision, depth perception and all the other game finding/killing ability. Compare with the prey, the sheep, the robin, the cow. All have eyes on the side of the head so the prey can see who is sneaking up on them. Keep in mind no generalization is worth a damn-including this one- eyes in the front indicate a specie that is a rung or two higher on the food chain than fruits, vegitables and prey. Catfish, Salmon, cows, pigs, sheep all have eyes on the side of the head. Eagles, sharks, hawks, dog and humans, the hunters all have eyes in front.
The other comment that could/should be made, if you don’t wait till the last minute to do your Christmas shopping, you don’t have to fight your way through all the other retards in the cramped commercial mega-schlock store.
I would continue, but I gotta get to Fred-Wal-K-Mart-Meyers and start my shoplifting.
December 21st, 2009 at 5:25 pm
In regards to waiting the last minute…unfortunately this happens frequently throughout the year in San Antonio. Stores like to use as much floor space as possible, causing narrow passageways. And retards don’t care about the season, they are out in full force all year around.
December 24th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Yep. You visit a newly opened store, K-Mart, Fred Meyer, piggly wiggly, J.E.D. whatever and become impressed with the nice wide aisle. Then you return in two weeks and the store has stuffed alll sorts of “gondolas”, standees, stacking displays, and stuff in the middle of the aisles. Jamming so much crap into the once-wide aisles that all the “temporary” displays constricts the aisle to one shopping cart wide. Then you get some goofus who doesn’t know what s/he wants or has head firmly up butthole and you can’t move.
Speaking of “temporary” displays in the middle of the aisle, the mid-aisle unit may stay anchored to the deckplates it is just the crap on it changes from week-to week.
Of course, if you start your birthday, wedding, anniversary, Christmas, whatever shopping a month or two before the event (before the crowds come out of the woodwork like cockroaches), you don’t have to fight with the lard-butt blocking the aisles.
Merry Christmas and remember while the British refer to Dec 26th as “Boxing Day” here in the U.S. of A. we have a more modern term. It is Battery Replacement Day.
Bah, F*ing Humbug!