Topsy Turvy: Money Back Guarantee is retarded
While being sick over the weekend, I happened to witness a TV Ad for a product called the Topsy Turvy (Site). The basic idea of the product is it’s a way to grow tomatoes upside down in their little hanging plant thing.
Now I don’t know a whole lot about the product, and I don’t know much about tomatoes. But sitting there watching the commercial, they said something that set off some red flags in my head. They said… “30 Day Money Back Guarantee!” Well that’s all well an good…but my mind immediately wondered…how long does it take a tomato to grow? Especially since during the infomercial they said that your tomatoes can be enjoyed “up to 4 weeks earlier.”
Well after some basic googling, I discovered that it can take anywhere from about 45-100 days to grow a tomato. It all depends on the type of tomato and such. So if you happen to get a tomato plant that takes 60 days to grow tomatoes, and you magically get them to appear 4 weeks earlier with this Topsy Turvy thing, it’ll take you roughly 30 days to get to your tomatoes. That’s all fine…
Oh wait, what if it doesn’t work…what if it produces less than stellar tomatoes…by the time you find out it doesn’t work it’ll be definitely past the 30 day guarantee. I see what you did there Topsy Turvy people..brag of your money back guarantee when you know it’ll never be usable.
Also, I bet if you call to return it within the first 30 days they’ll probably feed you some crap about you need to wait, tomatoes don’t grow overnight, etc etc. But that’s just a guess because the whole thing is retarded.
So I have no experience with the product itself. But I’d stay away from a company that offers a money back guarantee that ends before you’d even know if the product worked properly. Of course I don’t buy things I see advertised on a Sunday afternoon either.
Pro tip: If the commercial says “if you call now they’ll throw in blah blah blah for free” It’s probably not a quality product.
Again, I have never used this product, nor grown any vegetables of my own. If you do grow tomatoes, or used this product, feel free to leave a comment below with more information.
Ed note: Sorry if this isn’t up to my usual style, I’ve been sick lately and my head is full of medicine.
April 6th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Phineas T. Barnum observed over a century ago: “You will never go broke Under-estimating the intelligence of the American People.”
Going so far back, the advice is in a dead lanuage, “Cavaet Emptor” which as every erudite person knows means “let the Buyer beware.”
America is a great country! With consumer products safety commission, better businees bureaus, federal trade commission, labor standards board and ad nauseum (little more dead language lingo, means until sickness) and people still run scams like this because they work.
Were you sick before you watched daytime tv or did watching make you sick? I have an inquiring mind.
April 14th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
As someone who has grown tomatoes for several years now (the traditional roots down, in the ground method), I gotta say this doesn’t seem like a great idea. If you look at the pictures on the website the stalks of the plants are twisting UP. 3 (or so) Billion years of evolution have taught most plants that growing UP is better. Seems to me like this is going to force the plant to put more energy into growing thicker stalks to push the leaves closer to the sun, less into growing lots of big healthy fruits.
Another claim they make is that you can get plants year round. I say a hard frost will kill any outdoor tomato plants, upside-down or not. Also, eventually the plant will use up all the nutrients in the original potting soil, requiring adding fertilizer. No “organic” tomatoes for you. My compost pile is 100% organic, and FREE!
“No back breaking labor” Getting a watering can up over your head to water the canister doesn’t sound all that easy to me. You could use a hose instead, so maybe. However, lifting and hanging the canister looks like it would be very difficult and awkward. A right-side up pot on the ground can be filled with soil and planted in place, no moving required.
All of their claims off to the right (no ground diseases, cutworm, digging and weeding) could be accomplished for much less than $17 (including S&H) with a standard terracotta pot on the patio. As for “no pesticides”, a flying pest won’t be confused by an upside down plant.
May 26th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
LMAO at these remarks.Maybe you guys should get your hands on some gardening books and learn how to grow things, because from your comments its pretty laughable that thousands of people are having fun growing plants with these and all your bitching about is you either cant get anything to grow, or your to cynical to try one. Its your loss not the Companies that sell them or those that are succesful with them. They worked great for me lol.
I have been an active Organic Gardener in one of the Hottest Area’s in the Country for over 30 yrs, I have fruit, citrus tree’s growing in the Desert bearing tasty fruit, I also have a Plethora of Herbs, veggies ect growing in the ground. I know have 2 of the topsy turvy planters ( and no I was not one of the stupid ones to order over the net and pay 60 some bucks for 3 with s/h charges, I bought mine local for 10 each) 6 weeks later heading into June I have a Japenese Cucumber growing crazy, and another Early Girl thats bushy and producing mid size Tomatoes just as much as the 4 different types of Tomato’s I have in the ground and in other ground containers all hooked to the same drip irragation system. I fertilize all my plants at the same time and am vary happy with these as i do not have the problems with bugs, tomato cut worms and other pests with these. I have decided to buy a couple more to plant an assortment of Herbs, some Strawberries,and some more Squash.
May 26th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
My main point in my post has nothing to do with whether they grow plants well or not. Just the fact that a 30-day Money back guarantee is retarded. As you stated, you didn’t really have results until 6 weeks after you planted them. I don’t really care for gardening, I live in TX, and really don’t want to be outside in the Summer.
Obviously, if you grow as much as you say you do, then you have a ‘green thumb.’ I bet you probably do enough gardening you could grow plants from just a paper cup and they would turn out fine.
For regular people who do not garden much, if they did purchase the Topsy Turvy and it didn’t work, they wouldn’t really know until after the 30-day Money back guarantee has expired and would be stuck with something they wouldn’t like. That’s really my main point.
Also, what Jesse said: “As for “no pesticides”, a flying pest won’t be confused by an upside down plant.” Some places have pests, some don’t have as many. And his statement is true. Flying bugs don’t know if a plant is in the ground, in the air, or up your nose. It just knows it’s a plant.