Quiznos – Size does matter
Quiznos recently released a new product. The Toasty Torpedo. If you haven’t heard about it. Or don’t want to click on that link because it is horrible marketing, I will explain:
The Quiznos Toasty Torpedo is a 1 ft long ciabatta bread toasted sandwich. They have apparently 5 different kinds, Turkey something, Italian, beef, a tuna kind..and another…fuck if I know. And it can be yours for $4. Yes $4 foot long…
Wait a minute. I see what you did there.
There is another Sandwich making business in this country. SUBWAY! They make sub like sandwiches same as Quiznos. There recent promotion, which apparently been going well since it is been going for about 6+ months now is: “$5 Foot-Longs.”
Yep. A foot long sandwich for $5. Cheese, meat, and all kinds of veggies. All on a regular size sandwich loaf.
So Quiznos thinks it is clever, offering a $4 foot long! That’s a dollar cheaper than Subway! YAY! I can save money and still get a foot long sandwich!!
Wait…what do you mean the Quiznos ciabatta bread is only about 1.5-2 inches in diameter. That’s not sandwich bread. That’s a fucking bread stick.
Lets be nerds for a minute. If a regular Subway sandwich had a diameter of 4 inches, and the Quiznos Toasty Torpedo has a diameter of 3 inches (Sizes not accurate, I do not feel like measuring sandwiches).
If you use the formula to figure out volume of a cylinder, v=[pi]*r^2*h (volume equals Pi X radius squared X height). The results:
- Subway Sandwich: ~150 cubic inches
- Quiznos Toasty Torpedo: ~85 cubic inches.
So for $1 more, you can go to Subway, get about 75% more sandwich, and have more choices in what goes on it.
I see what Quiznos is doing there… they are hoping you are retarded. They hope that you won’t figure out that they are just tricking you. They think your brains will process the $4 as a cheaper lunch alternative and get you away from Subway.
But even if you are semi-retarded, after you get one of the small torpedoes you’ll wish you went to Subway.
Even a hillbilly knows the difference between a 12-pack and a 6-pack.
Added Bonus: If you have seen one of the commercials, you can note the bread bag like item they place them in (Note I did not say wrap). The Quiznos I visited put one of these Torpedoes into the bag, put that bag into a plastic to-go bag and handed it over. I noticed by the time it made it back to the office that a lot of the meat/cheese/lettuce had kind of fell down the sandwich toward the bottom of the bread bag.
This is probably why Subway, for decades, has wrapped their sandwiches tightly to prevent things from falling all over the place. They apparently know what they are doing when it comes to sandwiches.