Alright, we’ve all seen Fast & The Furious…we get it.

20 Jan 2009
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comment (1)  |  Add Comment

Pretty cars, fast races, cool stereos, vroom vroom.  Yeah it was cool looking, all that neon, the loud noises…  But why…WHY do you people with beat up cars want to half-ass ‘pimp’ your ride?  You make it look really stupid.

Adding a ‘fart can’ (Also known a fart cannon, a fart can is a resonator attached to the exhaust pipe of a car intended to give a high performance exhaust note) to your car does not make it ‘cool.’  You can actually buy the cheap version of these exhaust pipe modification at Wal-Mart.  It’s basically an exhaust tip that you tighten down with screws onto your rusted exhaust.  The result: Your station wagon now sounds like it’s got diarrhea.

The really sad part is most of the ‘modifications’ I’ve seen to cars in this town fall into 2 categories:

  1. Half-ass’d
  2. Why would you bother?

The half-ass’d group are for people who attempt to modify their car to make it ‘cool’ and ‘pimp’ but don’t have the money/time to do it right.  Examples: Body kits that aren’t even painted, body kits put on/over/to close to the exhaust so they are slightly discolored/melted, mis-matched colors, peeling/cracked window tint.  The list can go on and on.

The ‘Why would you bother?’ group are for people who are trying to pimp cars that shouldn’t need pimped.  Low-profile tires on wire rims do not belong on a 90’s Ford Aerostar.  Shiny rims on a Ford Taurus?  Why?

Now I know there are some people out there, who actually upgrade their engine, improve the performance, make their car look and handle better.  And that’s good on them.  This is mostly aimed at the people who obviously don’t know what they are doing.  So knock it off already.

One Response to “Alright, we’ve all seen Fast & The Furious…we get it.”

  1. Viktor Says:

    Yeah, MY car is cool! Has 2-inch wide blue reflective stripe, special license plate (advantages of being an Amateur [“Ham”] radio operator in a state that issues special Ham Call plates) and at least two (sometimes four) communicatiouns antennas on the roof. It is so much fun to drive about 3 mph under the speed limit and watch cars coming up behind me slow down. They must think I am a cop or something. Never mind my car is now about 20 years old. (you hardly ever see any cop car older than five years).