Dear Woot

04 Sep 2012
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comments (2)  |  Add Comment

Find below a ‘letter’ I wrote, and posted on the Woot.com community site.

Some background info for those who don’t know.  Woot.com is THE original daily deal website.  They were the first site to offer one item at the start of the day, and that’s all they had to sell until the day ended.  If it sold out before the end of the day, then nothing. You’d still have to wait for the next day to see the next deal.  They had hilarious product descriptions, and generally a fun site to be a member of.  There is other things you should probably know about them, but you can research it more on your own time.

The main thing to know is that in June of 2010, they were purchased by Amazon.  Over time, as with most companies that are bought by a larger corporation, Woot changed (Fun things stopped happening, forced use of social media, site layout completely ruined, and one of my favorite products completely changed).  Some might say it’s for the better, but me, and quite a few others, think it is for the worst.

It was with a great sadness that I decided that I am basically done with Woot, and am not a huge fan anymore.  So I wrote the following letter:

 

Dear Woot,

I remember when I first saw you in 2004, you were so different from the others, so clean, slender, and beautiful. I flirted with you for a while and finally was able to join you in January of 2005. On that day you were extremely exhausted, running one of your crazy Woot-Offs. You came to me with an Ice Cream maker, and I just couldn’t resist your charm (or low price).

Unfortunately when I met you I was a wreck. I had a very crappy job, and couldn’t afford to take you out as often as I wished. But we made it work, we had our late nights together. Reading great product descriptions into the wee hours. Watching you shake your goods during Woot-Off after Woot-Off, where all I could do is sit, watch, and wish.

After a few years I got my life together and was able to treat you the way you deserved. And in 2007 you gave me a special gift. The Screaming Woot! Monkey. It was a sign that we would go places we’d always dreamed, and buy crap we’ve always wanted.

I spent the next few years courting you, and buying lavish items and fabulous junk with my new found disposable income. But I always, ALWAYS, would get Monkeys from you. They are so cute and fluffy, and fly really far.

Our relationship was great, and continued to grow until that fateful day in June of 2010. I came home and found you having coffee with some guy. You tried to tell me that he meant nothing, and that nothing would change between you and me, and he was just a friend. Since I knew him personally, I trusted you, and was okay with you hanging out with Amazon. But in the back of my mind I was worried.

About six months after that, you started getting weird. You started treating me like I was stalking you. You saw my huge Woot Monkey collection and cornered me to ask me about it:http://www.woot.com/blog/post/ten-questions-about-monkeys 

Yes I have a lot of Monkeys, in fact the last count I did was somewhere around 120+. They were the only thing that comforted me while you’d go out to lunch with Amazon while I was at work. They were my true friends!

From there our relationship has been going downhill. We don’t talk as often, our late nights became few and far apart. Then you broke tradition.

On April Fools day, you’d normally pull some clever joke that would make me laugh, and would be all sorts of fun. Not this year. This year you didn’t do anything.

Then in June, you basically disappeared for almost a whole day, finally showing up with a facelift. You say it was something you always wanted to do, but I knew… It was a gift from Amazon. Instead of accepting you as the beautiful thing you were, it was changing you. You were always beautiful to me, you didn’t need to change…but you did. For HIM.

I tried to accept your new look, but it changed who you were. Your Woot-Offs became tamer and hard to watch. Your Brigade of Campers#39;s became less exciting and more depressing, and you changed the last thing I loved about you. Your Monkeys. No longer having a cool hat, or awesome Velcro hands, they just have a stupid mask. Like they are ashamed to be identified while bearing your logo (Or should I just call it Amazon’s logo now?).

I tried to accept the new monkeys. I really did. But they can’t be easily placed on my shrine/tower. It’s obvious you did this to let me know you thought I was being creepy, and to attached. I get it. But couldn’t you just talk to me? Instead of humiliating me in front of my friends?

I can’t take it anymore. I know you an Amazon are a couple now, even if you try to hide it and deny it. I know those bruises you got where from him…”fell down the stairs” my @$$. If you want to be with Amazon so bad, fine, I’m not going to stop you, but you can consider our relationship done.

I’ll still try to be friendly to you though. I’ll check in on you from time to time, but I’m not going to take any more of your monkeys, and I definitely will not be kept up late by your flashing lights and siren’s call of a Woot-Off.

We’re done. We had a good run, but I can’t stand looking at you after knowing what he (Amazon) has done to you.

-Joel The Great

 

This letter can also be found on Woot’s forums: http://www.woot.com/forums/viewpost.aspx?postid=5101029

2 Responses to “Dear Woot”

  1. Viktor vander Dekken Says:

    Not being real technical I didn’t know that Woot had been taken over by Amazon. It explains why a fun website has augered in to becoming not worth visiting.
    Tnx for the explanation.

  2. Craig Says:

    I agree with you Joel. I used ot visit Woot on a daily basis… guaranteed. I bought numeorus woots, and it was just a normal part of my day. When a woot off was going on, I’d be checking it throughout the day.

    Some co-workers of mine were also woot junkies, and we actually had the flashing woot off lights on top of our cubicles during woot offs. It was fabulous – it was fun – it was woot!

    Then the changes started. First they added a second woot store… then a third. Then a fourth. By the time we realized Amazon was taking over it was already on the downhill slide. The site layout became just like every other e-commerce site on the net. They started selling tons of products each day rather than just one.

    Comments dropped off. BOCs disappeared. The fun was gone. I actually stopped visiting the site and haven’t purchased anything from them in several years. A few months ago I started paying them a visit about once a week hoping things might have improved, but they haven’t. I’ve added a few comments but now it seems woot is just a lot like the old mall in anytown USA after the new mall is built. The new mall is where everyone has moved on to… the old mall has a JCPenny, a Radio Shack, a clothing store for obese women, a fabric store, and two options at the food court next to six spaces with “For Lease” signs in front.

    Oh yea… and the fountain broke down three years ago so they drained the water and put in some fake plastic plants. The whole thing is depressing. Woot is the old mall of the online world, and unless they undergo some serious changes I fear they will be lost forever.