Hewlett Packard Can Go Fuck Themselves!

16 Sep 2011
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comments (0)  |  Add Comment

Never in my life have I seen a company so mismanage an order, and have little to no information about what’s going on in their business than I have with HP.

As I mentioned HERE, I am one of the unlucky few in limbo with HP and trying to get their discounted Touchpad tablet. I was able to get a successful order through, but it still hasn’t been processed.   This is how they’ve lost me as a customer… 

So I got my order in on August 20th, it’s now 4 days shy of being a full MONTH since I told them I want a product in exchange for some of my money.   Now, as some of you are aware, when they dropped the price of these Tablets the internet went CRAZY (crazier?).  Online stores that put them up for sale sold out within minutes. Servers crashed. Physical stores ran out within minutes as well, phone lines were filled with pre-recorded messages stating they were out of stock.  It was a mad house. So yes, I understand that getting my order fulfilled would take a little time as the dust settled.  But damn near a month now?

During this month, I have a pending charge show up on my bank account, sit around for 3-5 days, disappear for a day or two, and then it comes back.  It’s HP constantly holding a charge on my card for an order they cannot (Or at least HAVE NOT) fulfilled.  That’s right, a chunk of my money is being held in bank limbo by HP.  HP doesn’t get it, because they aren’t officially charging me yet.  I can’t use it cause the Bank is holding onto it just in case.  I understand it somewhat.  HP wants to make sure the money is there, because as soon as it isn’t, they can cancel my order and be done with me.  Or, as soon as they ship me my order, they can get their money quicker if it’s already pending.

But think of it.  What if they can’t complete my order for another 2 months? Or 6..or every a whole year?  That means my bank account will constantly have this pending charge show up, and drop off, meaning anytime I want to quickly look at my checking balance, I’ll have to go into the account details to see if the total reflects a pending charge for HP, or if it’s fallen off for the day or two meaning I actually have less in my account since in the next day or two the pending charge will show up again.

That’s not too huge of an issue, but it is irritating.

This is why HP has lost me as a customer forever.  They cannot tell me the status of my order.  I have been able to confirm that my order was not one of the unlucky few that has been cancelled.  That’s the good news.  The bad news, is when I will get my order shipped to me is completely a mystery. An annoying retarded Mystery that is being run into the ground by HP.

Like most people who place online orders, I like to go to the ORDER STATUS page for the company I made a purchase from to find out where my order is.  Is it in the packaging stage? has it shipped? will it ship?

HP’s order status page has gone full on retarded. As I mentioned in my previous post, they gave me a generic ship/arrive date that was not true at all.  NOW, their order status page has gone Rain-Man on me.  If I go check it today, it tells me my estimated delivery date is TODAY! And that it shipped 4 days ago!  But it’s a lie.


Tomorrow when I go to check it, it’ll say that the estimated delivery date is TODAY! And that it shipped 4 days prior!  Yesterday when I checked it (Thursday the 15th), it said that the estimated delivery date was the 15th, and that it shipped 4 days prior to that!

That’s right, the order status page says the estimated delivery date is the day you are checking it, and that it shipped 4 days earlier.  For over a week it has been doing this.

What does someone do in this situation?  Call a human!  So last week I called HP to get a status of my order.  The person looked into my order, and said that they were expecting to have more product in 6-8 weeks to ship out, but my order was on the list of ones that should be going out next week (this week now).  I was told that they had some in that should ship out Monday (the 12th).  Fantastic…waited the weekend, Monday the 12th rolls by, no email, no order status update.

Tuesday, I call them to get an update as the order status page is still wrong, and apparently the guy I spoke to the week prior was wrong.

I’m given what is a canned response that there was a higher than expected demand (No shit?) and they are expected to fulfill the orders within the next 6-8 weeks. I explained what I was told last week, about my order being sent this week.  He looked into it, and yes, my order was on the list of ones that should be fulfilled this week, but not Monday, just ‘Sometime this week, by Friday.’

Well fuck.  This means that the humans are incapable of telling me the truth, so I can’t fully believe him, but I want to as there is no way a company could fuck up an order this bad is there?

I called them a few other times in the week just to annoy them about the Order Status page being wrong…which they ADMITTED to me that they know it’s broken, and it’s being “looked into.”  Good job HP.

Today is Friday.  I have received no email about my order (like tracking number, or that it’s shipped).  I call.  I get a human. They tell me that they hope to be shipping out orders end of September, middle of October.  Basically the THREE PEOPLE I SPOKE TO HAD NO CLUE AND FED ME LIES!

I hope Hewlett Packard goes Bankrupt and fails off the face of the earth.  The created a huge cluster fuck with this fire sale they started, and a month later they still can’t provide any information on what the hell is going on with my order.  And since it’s been damn near a month the chance of me finding a similar deal on the exact item is not going to happen.  They’ve been sold out for almost the same amount of time.

At this rate when if I finally get my Touchpad it’ll be completely obsolete.

OH! And to top this all off, my order is through HP SMALL & MEDIUM BUSINESS.  That’s the arm that is supposed to cater to business’s. You know, the type of people that would most likely be repeat customers.  A consumer buys a new toy/computer once every year on average.  A business though will constantly order supplies, upgrades, etc.  Especially if that business was growing.   IF you owned a small business, and you ordered something through HP and got the same sort of results I got, would you continue to use them?  Would you recommend them to friends/family?  Hell no you wouldn’t.

Here is the part that pisses me off the most about this:

I purchased two Touchpads.  One is for me because I’m a geek.  The other one is for my wife. I purchased it about a month before her Birthday, as her Birthday present.  Now, her birthday is real soon, and I have no order.  She is also close to giving birth to my spawn.  So it was a baby type present as it would be easier to use than her desktop while tending to an infant.

That’s right, me, Mr. Jerkface, was trying to be nice and sweet and get something awesome for my wife.  And HP went and fucked that all up.  Thanks guys.

Hewlett Packard Can Go Fuck Themselves!

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