Brake Check – Check It Yourself

06 Aug 2011
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comments (2)  |  Add Comment

A few months ago I bought me a used car. A nice 2001 [CAR] (I don’t need to tell you what I drive dammit).  Well, as it has over 100,000 miles certain things are bound to go wrong with it.  Recently there was a weird noise coming from my back tire(s).  I say noise because it was like a squealing, but not like a squealing. Like a grinding, but not like a grinding. I don’t really have a way to describe the sound.

After some thinking I decided it most likely was a brake problem (This should be no shock to anyone reading this, as the title says BRAKE CHECK in it).  So on my way home from work I swung by Brake Check.  For those of you who do not know, Brake Check is like a Jiffy Lube, but for brakes.  And for those of you that don’t know what a Jiffy Lube is, it’s a chain of Oil Change stores. Welcome to 2011.  From this point on I’m not gonna spell a lot out to you.  There will be all kinds of mechanical terms in relation to brakes on a car.  Go look it up if you don’t understand. Read more…

Cracker Barrel – Beating Walmart At Their Own Game

23 Jul 2011
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comment (1)  |  Add Comment

Being white I decided to get some food at a chain of restaurants  designed for white people (Specifically old white people).  The Cracker Barrel (See, it even has CRACKER in the name, which stands for white people).  Honestly they have some pretty kick ass pancakes, way better than that shit you get at IHOP, a restaurant who specializes in pancakes (Yeah I called you out IHOP, what of it?).

If they are busy when you go, you get the luxury of looking around Cracker Barrel’s gift shop, where they have all kinds of overpriced nostalgic crap for the old gullible people who don’t realize you could buy similar items cheaper on this ‘Internet’ your grand kids keep talking about.   Anyways, I was looking around when I noticed the following:  Read more…

Cake – Forking Ridiculous

07 Jul 2011
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comments (4)  |  Add Comment

Cake is pretty damn good.  As a bunch of fat-asses society we have managed to find every damn reason to eat Cake as possible.  Birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, promotions, retirements, graduations, holidays..  With lots of friends, family, and co-workers you can theoretically have cake every week if planned just right.  Read more…

Best Buy – Forgetful Marketing

08 Jun 2011
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comment (1)  |  Add Comment

Being an adult who has a job, I get quite a few things in the itty bitty house in front of my regular sized house.  The itty bitty house has many names: Whore, hot box, bringer of doom, your mom, etc.  Most know it by it’s common name…

Read more…

Chase – Hostage Situation

01 Jun 2011
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comments disabled  |  Add Comment

Recently my clunker died.  It is said, but I got 4 years out of a car I paid $1500 for.  It not being worth fixing, I had to get me a new car.  This meant getting some money.  Luckily I’m a lucky guy and I was able to deposit a check for $5,000 on Thursday into my Chase account.  Now I bet you can see where this is going… Read more…

The Worst McDonald’s In The World!

28 May 2011
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comments (2)  |  Add Comment

I’m a fat ass American who does enjoy to have a quick and cheap meal at McDonald’s.  Unfortunately there is a McDonald’s near me that has given me some of the WORST SERVICE I have ever received from any company. I will share some of my stories, including two recent ones that take the cake.

Read more…

Denny’s – Water Shortage

17 May 2011
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comments disabled  |  Add Comment

There are times where I like to go eat at the local drunk food emporium known as Denny’s. Yes I know it’s not great food, and probably going to kill me, whatever.  You health nuts can kiss my ass. Denny’s is good at times. But that’s not the problem. Read more…

Papa John’s – Schizophrenic Wing Combos

01 May 2011
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comments (2)  |  Add Comment

Being an American I like to eat crap that doesn’t taste that fantastic and is bad for me.  So for dinner I was picking up some Papa Johns Pizza.  Being in America, that means the service was super fast and friendly slow and apathetic.   While waiting for my hot disc of fat, grease, and carbohydrates, I got to stare at their menu and ponder about the meaning of life.  Why are we here? What toppings do they have that I should have thrown on my creation that will lead to me wearing pants that say ‘Wide Load’ on them? What is our purpose in the Universe? What kind of pizza+wing combo’s do they have?

That’s when I noticed a very odd pricing scheme that has probably screwed over quite a few people without simple math skills (also known as:  The Population of The United States).  Here is what I saw:

Read more…

BJ’s Brewhouse – Happy Hour Segregation

17 Apr 2011
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: Rants  |  Comment (1)  |  Add Comment

From time to time you find yourself in a situation that makes no logical sense.  The type of situation that makes you speechless for a few moments.  This is one of those situations. Read more…

Cops – How To Not Get Caught

08 Apr 2011
Author: Joel The Great  |  Category: How To.., Rants  |  Comments (3)  |  Add Comment

I enjoy watching the TV show Cops.  Cops was the first shows dubbed “reality television” (even though technically any documentary is reality TV).

It is a great show because it contains action, comedy, and drama all in one show.  Plus if you have the 150+ channel cable/satellite package there are at no less than four stations that re-run episodes of cops (G4TV, TruTV, on).

After watching quite a few episodes I’ve figured out a few ways improve your chances of not getting arrested.

Read more…